May: Feels good to be bad
Can I interest you in being bad?
What if on the precipice of a new activity, experience, or challenge, you promised yourself to be bad, awful even?
Just jump in, with hopes of even failing a little?
I can’t count the times I’ve stopped myself from trying something out of fear of being embarrassed or wasting my time. My harshest inner critic comes out with a sharp tongue with any new endeavor. The amount of art projects I’ve dropped half way because I wasn’t getting better currently fills up multiple drawers in my office.
I hope you know by now, I love writing. I’ve written for as long as I can remember. I was an English major for a long time. But still, I always avoided the creative writing classes like the plague because they felt intimidating. I didn’t want to find out that I was bad at something I actually reallllllly wanted to try.
At the beginning of the year I finally faced my fear and signed up to a creative writing course. But, I made a promise, I would only take it if I was willing to be bad at it. I wasn't going to give up or feel embarrassed, no, I was going to embrace the discomfort.
The course ends in a few weeks. I have enjoyed the class so freaking much, Tuesday and Thursday mornings are my favorite, even when it’s silly metaphors that I share out loud in class. I’ve learned a ton! I love my classmates. I love my teacher. I love how much creativity, humanity, and hope can live in a space when you’re willing to show up, fully. The young folks in the room hold so much talent and kindness-I feel so excited for what they’ll do next.
In the end, I wasn’t bad at it, I was just scared of not being great. And funny enough, being great never became important once the class got going. It was just about showing up, as fully as I could, good never mattered again. I can’t remember the last time I felt this excited or proud of myself. Truly, my happiest decision.
In a weird way, being “bad” has become my inner motto and it’s made a lot of things more fun. It doesn’t take away the fear, but it releases pressure for perfection. And in the end, perfection isn’t even the point. It does make me wonder what else I may have stopped myself from enjoying in the past, luckily there’s time to try again.
So, what do you say? Let us be bad!
